So apparently people really like to talk about what the next Assassin's Creed game will be, even though Ubisoft is so devious with their annualization scheme that in all likelihood the next twenty games have already entered production and the story has been completely reduced to an incoherent mess even with Corey May's best efforts to avert such a thing. Now, a lot of these settings may seem like cliched and uninspired for a series like Assassin's Creed which has taken us to so many settings unexplored by mainstream gaming like the Crusades, the Italian Renaissance and streets of Constantinople, as well as colonial America. Yes, there was a cliched setting in the form of pirates, but Edward Godway is cool n all so thats excusable.
Anne Frankly, this would be redundant because The Saboteur already did it.
But once you filter all posts referencing feudal Japan (cause free-running samurai ninjas or something), the French Revolution (cause a freaking Native American named Connor Godway in France out of all places boning hot French Assassins or something), or World War II (cause killing Hitlar or something. I think there was a porno- I mean fanfiction where Connor and Ezio did it called Assassinating Past Heroes) there are some truly inspired ideas for the future that shall never come to fruition. I mean, just look at all the por- I mean fanart that has been posted on the internet places where people surf with one hand.
Roll your eyes all you want, but once ninjas are out of the way, there is only one place left to go even though Rockstar and Team Bondage already did it.
So because I am people I decided to make this blog post about what people like to talk about. I will be focusing on a game that I would like to see happen. I'm pretty sure that all you AC nerds saw this last year, and don't lie because you AC nerds see everything:
These were among the multiple pieces of a Chinese Assassin's Creed fanart posted by some guy named Yuan that were astonishingly professional looking. Seriously, just compare these to the official concept arts for Assassin's Creed 3 or 4 and tell me that you couldn't have mistaken this for pro-work. And it got me thinking about Assassin's Creed and its future. With six games (not counting the spin-offs like Liberation), Assassin's Creed has covered a fair share of land expanse. But the games have all be confined to Europe, North America, and South America to an extent. We have yet to explore the three other major continents ripe for old fashioned murder and Animus hijinks: Africa, Antarctica, and of course the Orient treasures of Asia.
And yes, there were people on the Internet calling this AC: Japan. I guess since its Asian it must be Japan, right?
China isn't entirely foreign to the AC series. In the short film Embers which covered the death of Ezio Auditore, the Assassin who Patrice Desilets probably really regrets making right now, the Florentine Assassin met with a Chinese Assassin named Shao Jun (who invented the rope dart that you never used in AC3 because the weapon wheel was broken and clumsy as shit) and together they got some Chinese takeout with her hidden chopsticks. With this and some of the other expanded universe happy crappy like Project Legacy we have learned that emperors really don't like Assassins to the point where the Brotherhood was wiped out by the time of Embers. At the end of Embers, Ezio gives Shao Jun a MacGuffin box that like the briefcase from Pulp Fiction or the identity of the Holiday killer we probably will never know for certain what it is. This, of course, is already bait for a Ming Dynasty game starring Shao Jun as she rebuilds the Chinese Brotherhood.
That sort of takeout. Note the horrified expression on Ezio's daughter's face.
But I am not here to talk about what has already been established. I am certain that Shao Jun's era would make for some excellent stories and fun settings in Assassin's Creed, but what about the rest of Chinese history? In its gazillion years of history, China has undergone plenty of shit that just begs "make me into an Assassin's Creed game!" And here I am to talk about them, or better yet, plagarize what Wikipedia has to say about them.
So apparently during September some unknown indepedent game developer called Rockstar released a game called Grand Theft Auto V, which no one brought and the game was quickly sunk by unamimous critical disdain suffering record-breaking low sales figures and Metacritic scores. The three people who did praised the game's innovative new take on the open world sandbox structure, with three playable protagonists in one game that you can switch between at any time. So I was thinking that Ubisoft likes to take bad elements out of other bad games and put them in their own bad games, a new Assassin's Creed mechanic like this would be a match made in heaven.
This ideal game would be set across three eras of Chinese history, which would be made possible by making all three Chinese assassins the common ancestor of some modern day character who makes everyone angry by taking them out of the historical story part to tell his/hers. Yes, how dare he, that modern day character, tell her story when the entire series' story at the core has been about the modern day! Apparently, the Animus Whatever.0 allows for the subject to jump between viewing memories of any ancestor at any time, and there are oh so many consoluted plot devices introduced to justify said jumping! So without further ado, in future blog posts because I am a lazy bastard at the moment I will talk about these periods:
Part One: The Warring States/The First Emperor Part Two: The Yuan Dynasty - when Brian Boitano built the pyramids and beat up Kublai Khan Part Three: A Century of Decline - Opium, Taiping, Boxers, etc. Part Four: The Waking World (1900 - Today)
My grand hopes for AC's future that will never come to fruition because life is not a fairy tale and there are no happy endings also includes this mixed in through some more convoluted First Civ bullshit:
That is exactly what AC needs. Copyright infringement and lawsuits up the piehole.
The next blog post will either be Part One or my elaborate por- I mean headcanon regarding the fate of the Godway family.
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