Garfield: The Big Payday exclusive preview

Garfield: The Big Payday

Authors note: I have noticed increase in violence crime on TV news and have found this very alarming! So I wrote this as new tribute and motivator for brave American men and women on police force. 

It was another day in the happiest city in the greatest place on Earth Washington DC the capital of America. Throughout the entire air was the sweet scent of roasted freedom and caramelized liberty. 

“What a great time it is to be an American Vice President Joe Biden.” Said Obama the President with big smile as he observed the city from behind a window in a White House. 

“I concur but what if something catastrophic was to happen and rob America of your Presidential responsibilities presents?” Said Vice President Joe Biden worryingly. 

“Hahahaha!” Said Obama the President as he sat down at office desk to begin Presidential duties for the day. “What sort of man is fit to lead nation if he is spending every second of day gripped by worry? No a real man easy rides the whole long highway. This is why I am the President and you are Vice President Joe Biden.” 

“This is irresponsibilities.” Said Vice President Joe Biden with disgust at Obama the President’s easy riding nature. “But fortunately I have made man in great plan to reclaim America’s greatness.”

At Vice President Joe Biden’s fingersnapping four Secret Service men in suits entered the Oval Office with menace shining in their eyes.

“What is the meaning of this?” Said Obama the President as he set down pen and paper in shock. 

“You have been allowed to destroy America for one term too many! But no longer! IT IS TIME FOR A REVOLUTION!!” Said Vice President Joe Biden with coup as he and the four Secret Service men took out clown masks from their pockets and put them on to reveal that they were really Dallas, Hoxton, Houston Chains, and Wolf of the Payday crew!  

“Noooo Vice President Joe Biden is an evil criminal. This calls for justice.” Said Obama the President as he calmly ripped out a Remington from under his desk with intents of justice and blasted off Houston’s head with buckshot. 

Obama the President then flung his Remington like a boomerang taking out Wolf, Dallas, and Chains with the power of velocity.

“Don’t mess with the President of the United States, sonny. You will turn yourself in if you know what is good for you.” Obama the President said as he caught his returning Remington and lit a Cuban cigar for smoking of intimidation as he and Hoxton faced off. 

“You know nothing! Now know the true power of evil!” Hoxton said as he took out his Walther PPK and pumped Obama the President full of tranquilizers.

“UGH.” Said Obama the President with car sickness before he vomited and fainted.

Hoxton then proceeded to detain Obama the President with handcuffs and injected Wolf, Dallas, and Chains with heroin to revive them.

“Well boys here is to job well done.” Said Dallas wickedly as he rubbed his palms together.

“Indeed it is my main man.” Said Chains with greed as he began looting the Oval Office. 

“Lets celebrate like true gentlemen!” Said Wolf as he stole some of Obama the President’s presidential whiskey and began to pour it into his pants.

“Mwa ha ha ha!” Laughed Hoxton with evilness as he took out his iPhone and made call to untraceable location. “Bain… we’ve acquired the Golden Package!” 

Elsewhere it was another sunny day elsewhere in America and Garfield was doing exercises in his own private gym as the TV program “Hot Babes Catfighting In Lasagna” played on his four-wall encompassing flatscreen HDTV. 

“Before another hard days work of eating lasagna and romancing babes it is advisable to pump some iron.” Said Garfield with sage advice to audience as he did several flips from a chin-up bar before making perfect ten-point landing on his right thumb.

Garfield then got ready to do thousand-ton weightlifts when suddenly interruptions came on his TV screen.

“TV programming that is more important than lasagna? What is this madness?” Garfield commented as the TV changed to concerned sweating newscaster in newsroom.

“Breaking news!” Said the newscaster with pantswetting panic. “Obama the President has just been kidnapped by the infamous Payday crew for ransom of equal value to American debt!”

“WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?” Said Garfield with such anger at brazen criminal disrespect for American executive branch that he snapped his weight in half like kit-kat bar without realizing. 

“Anarchy is breaking out on streets as we speak by criminal populace revolting! Is there not a bad enough dude in this country who can save the President?” Implored the newscaster with horror as the TV fizzled out to static. 

“You didn’t even have to ask.” Garfield said with duty as he put on his shades and custom Lasagna-logo black combat jacket.  

Garfield walked downstairs to begin his quest of justice and he ran into Jon Arbuckle.

“Oh no Garfield surely you must not be thinking of going out there on your own!” Said Jon Arbuckle with brotherly concern. 

“I know the danger that I am diving into Jon Arbuckle but I shall not stand idle when criminal scrum dare to tear this great nation America apart with their greed.” Said Garfield with readiness as he opened kitchen doors to the armory and strapped on enough weaponry to arm a first world nation. “I must show them just as I am King of Lasagna I am also King of the Streets.”  

“Then make sure that liberty’s flame is not extinguished by miscreants of malice Garfield!” Jon Arbuckle said to Garfield as he threw the car keys to Garfield who caught them without even looking.

“I will not let you down, Jon Arbuckle!” Garfield said with farewell salute.

Garfield then unlocked the door to his custom classic Firebird in his two hundred car garage and hit the pedal with enough force to break sound barrier as he sped off onto the transcontinental highway towards Washington DC to deliver justice like the pizza unit of the police force.